Personal Effectiveness :

Set your own goals, face challenges

Know who you are, get going in life

Speak your mind with confidence



Set your own goals, face challenges :
-Ishita Sanyal on sense of self-worth and steps towards positive change.

If you are lazy students, it’s a hint that your individual style of learning does not match with the teaching mode. In other words, you are a victim of trying to adjust to the education system. A particular method of teaching that may be suitable to one student may not suit another. But you need to know what you want.

In other to sustain your self-motivation, you need to know your strengths and weaknesses. Love yourself
Enough to believe that you deserve to accomplish positive changes in your life. Set realistic goals for yourself without getting influenced by what others want of you.

Often, we adopt the goals set for us either by our elders or by peers without having an aptitude for it. It would be better if one first becomes aware what he or she has an aptitude for. You must know what your objectives are and why you want to pursue them. Once in a while, imagine and visualize how it would feel to have achieved those goals.

Not down every possible possible positive change that you have brought about in your life. Think positive. Every day, write down all your achievements and positive changes. Overcome the fear of failure and be confident that you would be successful soon.
Divide a big goal into small ones that are measurable, reasonable and achievable. Accept that changing of old habits takes some time. Do not expect any magical transformation in you overnight.

Remember that motivation is invisible, it’s inside your head and heart. It can’t be measured but you realise its worth when it shows in your performance. If you change your old habits and in turn change your performance, you can safely assume that it’s a positive development.

Review all the successes you’ve enjoyed in every aspect of your life, leaving behind all the failures and negatives.
Here’s an exercise that you can do. It will make you feel much more positive.

1. Contact a friend who has a positive attitude towards life and have a chat
2. Tick on the following checklist to know whether you are suffering from any form of inferiority complex.

Find out if you feel any of these.

Do you miss the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that comes with success or good performance?

Have you lost the respect of you peers and are excluded from the “winners’ circle” because of your performace?

Are your friends not paying enough attention to you?

Do you think you no longer can control your destiny and that you are a victim of circumstance and bad luck?

Do you just get less mark than others or is your performance not according to your capabilities?

Do you worry about the future because you fear you may not be able to deal with difficult situations?

Do you realise what you are losing in life because of lack of motivation?

Here are tips to improve your motivation levels -

1. Free yourself from “shoulds”. Live your life on the basis of what is possible for you and what you feel basic feel is right, instead of what others think you “should” do. “Shoulds” distract us from identifying and fulfilling our own needs, abilities, interests and personal goals. Find out what you want and what and take action designed to fulfil your potential.

2. Respect your own needs first. Recognise and take care of your own needs first. Identify what really fulfils you, instead of opting for instant gratifications. Respecting your deeper needs will increase your sense of worth and well-being.

3. Set achievable goals for yourself and work step-by-step to develop your potential. Strive to be a perfectionist.

4. Experience success. Seek out and put yourself in situation in which the probability of success is high. “Image” yourself succeeding. Whatever you accomplish success and feel good about it.

5. Take chances. New experiences are always learning experiences that helps build self-confidence. Mistakes are part of the process; don’t be disappointed if you don’t do a thing perfectly.

6. Feel good about trying out something new, what ever may be the outcome.

7. Face and try to solve problems, instead of avoiding them. Running away from problems threatens your self-confidence.

8. Practice taking and implementing positive decisions. When you assert yourself, you enhance your sense of worth, learn more and also increase your self-confidence.

9. Develop your skills. Know what you can and can’t do. Assess the skills you need; learn and practice those.

10. Emphasis on your strengths. Accept your current limitations.

11. Rely on your own opinion of yourself. Entertain feedback from others, but get completely taken over by it.


Know who you are, get going in life-
-Ishita Sanyal on maintaining motivation levels.

Ritwik know what’s expected of him at home and in school. The 13-year-old also know how important it is study well, now that he is in the secondary section.

Yet, he was very quit as his parents and private tutors sat around him in the living room showering him with wise talk. Ritwik’s parents failed to understand why he was unable to put his maximum efforts into academics. They had tried out so many things- encouraging him, warning him of the consequences and even scolding him. But all their efforts were in vain.

Ritwik himself was not sure what happened to him whenever he tried to work hard. Why has he gradually developing a tendency to avoid his books? Why couldn’t he stop himself from watching television for hours together even before examinations? Why was he slowly getting addicted to chatting and scrapping on the Net? Why couldn’t he resist himself from calling up his friends frequently for a chat, even thought he was well aware of his pending work? Maybe he failed to see the positive results that would follow if he put in hard work at the right time in the right direction.

Lack of motivation and under-achievement are becoming common problems in the society at large. Most teenagers are not exploiting their potential and are lacking in the desire to continue their studies after a certain level. They hide their weaknesses from their parents in the fear of being rebuked. For themAcademic pursuit is no more than a form of punishment. Sometimes, the phobia against studies and the lack of performance acts as negative conditioning and adds to the fear.

Some students study because they do well in it or because they enjoy learning. Many more are confused about the actual value of education. They may find other things more interesting than spending hours on their studies. Although they agree with their parents and teachers that they need to improve, they fail to “start doing” things that would bring about a positive change in them. Encouragement by elders can act as inspiration for some time, but fades away fast when the children come face-to-face with a range of other interesting activities.

The first mental pattern of failure – that is often responsible for lack of motivation- is lack of purpose. There is no big “why” and no juicy reason for achieving the goal in the first place. Majority of Children today get whatever they want without any effort. So they fail to develop the drive to achieve goals in real life. They concentrate more on here and now- with their lives full of excitement, amusement and addiction to attract ives.

The key to success in life is self-motivation. It is one of the greatest skills that a person can ever learn in life. It is the ability to recognize one’s potentials and work on it.

In life, knowing what to do hardly ever hold one back. It is mostly case of just doing what one already knows. Whether you are consciously pursuing a dream or you are unconsciously pursuing mere survival, your mind is always driven by an “image” of something that it “needs” to “find or accomplish”.

To develop motivation one should identify one’s strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes. A child generally has an idea about himself or herself from the comments that his or her family and friends make.
But you shouldn’t always depend on others for encouragement.

Speak your mind with confidence -
-Ishita Sanyal tells you how to hone your oratory skills

Tears kept rolling down Ishita’s cheeks. She had not done well in an annual talent hunt amongst school students. She was angry at herself and was feeling desperately hopeless, as this could have been her chance of getting exposure in the school circuit. Ishika failed to understand how her classmates proved to be better orators despite her knowing the subject in greater detail. What was the secret behind their success? What made the audience pay attention to every word they said, while she failed to impress them. Gradually, she was developing a phobia towards speaking in public.

Ishita’s case is not a lone one. A thousand other school students like her have already given up hope and prefer to stay away from events that require good oratory skills.

The fact is that some people are fortunate enough to develop good communication skills without much effort. The personality pattern of each and every individual is different. Some are extroverts who like the company of people and enjoy conversing with them. Such people usually leave a strong impact on others. They are also more confident in a group. Introverts’ personality patterns lack the needed communication skills. They are also shy and fear to be with others.

Probing the causes of success and failure based on the following factors may help a person overcome the first barrier towards success.

Confidence building: Failures are often due to lack of confidence. So try to note down yours strengths-
We often forget that we are no less talented than others. Unless you are sure about yourself, You can never
Be confident. The fear of failure and inferiority complex often become hurdles. When you are not sure about yourself you cannot express your opinion boldly.

Visualisation: Close your eyes and think where you want to be, who you want to be and what are the factors that may keep you from that goal. Once you identify these weaknesses you can fight them.

Knowledge: The key to success in any oral presentation is knowledge. So gather as much information as possible on the topic that you are expected to speak on. Then jot down the main points. This would increase your confidence level on stage.

Attract attention: The art of oral presentation lies in grabbling the attention of the audience. So focus on what you are good at. You can write a poem on the topic you are going to speak about if you are good at it. You can sing a few lines if melody is your forte. You can narrate a story if that is what mesmerises people. The start of the talk has to be unusual. Try to keep track of good advertisements in the media. Learn from them how to catch eye-balls.

Body Language: your body language is giveaway of whether or not you are at ease. Practice in front of a mirror first and then in front of parents and peers with whom you are comfortable.

Positive thinking: Be proud of your capabilities, but at the same time, also try identify the strengths of the other good speakers. Learn your skills so that you stand out in a group.

Self-esteem and self-image: These are even more important in teen age. Try to note down all the factors that are important for your self-image. Try to discuss it with your empathetic elder family members.

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